Life is like a random dungeon finder...

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

Well, sort of like that.

Today kids, I shall be discussing a topic that some bloggers have touched on already.

Fail tank.




In fact, today I had a few fail tanks.

More importantly, both were druid tanks.




I am sorry if I offend the few druid tanks that know what the hell they are doing, but omfg, I hate druid tanks.

I'm sorry, and this does go to all tank classes out there, but if you cannot hold aggro if I even handed you a bucket to hold it in...you have no business being a tank.

(Eus hands fail druid tank aggro bucket) (Fail druid tank looks at Eus and asks, what do I do with this?) It's kinda like that.

With this being said, I am nominating my two druid fail tanks awards to the following: Raek and Bliitz. I will not name their servers but these are the two I am pointing out.

My run with Raek was in reg Nexus. I've been working on my dk, Itsirhc, so I figured, "hey, why not some randoms today, since they have been going so well for me lately!"

In comes Raek.

When we are on the beginning part of the run where you deal with the alliance in the iceblocks, well, aggro went all over the place and he feels he can run thru the instance at ludicrous warp speed. When I see him lose another target and as it goes onto the healer, I notice he did not even try to pick it up off the healer. I did what I had to do and I gripped it back. Our dps was fine so I didn't worry about it. He yells at me to never grip. Again, if fail tank cannot regain aggro back on runaways, not my problem. Letting it kill the healer, again, that IS a problem. The only thing that made this run any more miserable was the fact that the shaman in the group was Recount Retard happy. I had to see the Recount posting after EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TRASH MOB AND BOSS. Seriously dude, if you have to post it, at all imho, you have issues. The entire run went like this between these two. The only solice I had was I got new shoulder for Itsi.

Now, onto Eus's run in OK.

Eus, her better half Ruhtra, her partner in crime Edyion, and longtime friend Zethux decided, "hey, let's run some random heroics!" In comes Bliitz. Terribad tank. We didn't make it five minutes before imploding. Again, fail tank decides to run at ludicrous warp speed, lost aggro, etc. Not only that, I, as the healer, almost died due to tank not holding the aggro bucket I gave him before the start. He was so bad that when we were fighting the multiple mobs he decided to pull before boss #1, Ruh ended up dying. Asshole tank doesn't let me try to rez Ruh nor get my mana up. He rushes first boss. In guild I tell my two hunters to feign death and that I refuse to heal the assmunch. Ruh has to now run back in and we both die as the asshole bring the boss to both of us.

How kind of him.

Now, the reason I got the name the suicidal healer is because I go down swinging. But Eusy didn't even have a chance (since she had to blow both of her bubbles), nor did poor Ruh.

Mr. Bliitz was such an azzhat that he refused to come back to his body and made the entire group wait for the timer and made nasty comments about it. To which I could not care because Said Azzhat is a Said Azzhat. Thank god we got a fantastic tank who knew what she was doing and ran even a fast enough pace that did not affect how she carried her aggro bucket and we completed the run with no worries.

So, again, if there are any halfway decent druid tanks that are out there in the WoW universe, please get in touch with Raek and Bliitz and explain that they must carry the aggro bucket and learn to tank properly if this is the class and spec they chose to go with.

Next time, I shall have my rolled up newspaper handy.